Written on 1/27/2008 03:05:00 pm by Swift!
Though I don't want to comment on the status of my resolutions, I would like to make some additions,by including some others which are working already this new year:
I will read books(always).
I will listen to music(whenever possible).
Watched the movie Made In USA, yesterday.I liked it.Though the story was quite predictable and there were minor directorial imperfections,I liked it for its simplicity, the "characters", and the touching moments.
Going on a drive to Thrissur, a few minutes later.
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Written on 1/25/2008 08:48:00 pm by Swift!
Just desperate to get out of this college.I dread this life here.Its choking.Wish July arrives now and I get out of here to somewhere new, somewhere where I am unknown.
My life's a big question mark???No meaning,no wishes and no hopes.Just want to pass out.With 60%.And bid good bye to this palce forever.
Till then I walk alone.
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Written on 1/21/2008 04:39:00 pm by Swift!
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to thee.
E'en though it be a cross,
That raiseth me
Still all my song shall be,
Nearer, my God, to thee
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to thee.
Though like the wanderer,
The sun gone down
Darkness be over me,
My rest a stone,
Yet in my dreams I'd be,
Nearer, my God, to thee
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to thee.
There let the way appear,
Steps unto heaven
All that Thou sendest me,
In mercy given
Angels to beckon me,
Nearer, my God, to thee
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to thee.
Then with my waking thoughts
Bright with Thy praise
Out of my stony griefs
Bethel I'll raise
So by my woes to be,
Nearer, my God, to thee
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to thee.
Or if on joyful wing,
Cleaving the sky
Sun, moon, and stars forgot,
Upward I fly
Still all my song shall be,
Nearer, my God, to thee
Nearer, my God, to Thee,
Nearer to thee!
........my favourite song
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Written on 1/17/2008 11:09:00 pm by Swift!
This week will be remembered for:
A train journey which nearly killed me with its rush.
A series exam to which i did nothing(It came, happened and went on its own).
Birthdays!!
Yes it was almost a birthday week.It started with my sister's birthday.I was planning to be at my sister's hostel with a cake on that day.when i told the idea to venkat he said he's too joining me.when venkat told his plan to jaijo he said he is also coming.then gijo said he's too joining us.so we ordered a grand pineapple fresh cream cake.on the day two of my friends brought their cars to the college,for the trip!after class we went to the bakery and got the cake.when i saw the cake i felt whether the cake was a bit too much.we all went to her hostel n had the plan to present her the cake.we weren't sure whether she could cut the cake with us as she was in her hostel. but when we got there we could get into their guest room.we cut the cake and had a great time!she was really happy.My friends presented her a beautiful card.
Later we went to Vilangankunnu.It was a beautiful place.Could see entire Thrissur from the hilltop there.
One day later came Jaijo's birthday.We wanted to surprise him on his birthday.We thought a lot on what we could do.we decide to get a cake and a ' trendy college-bag' for him.with this mission we set out.but we couldn't find any good one.we wandered from shop to shop in search of something that could surprise him.we were disappointed.we could find things that could impress him but that would cost thousands!!
Then I n Venkat sudddenly saw something in Big Bazaar..Apple Sparkling Vine.Could it be a substitute for Champagne?We two wondered.Suddenly Venkat found out something else-Ferrero Rochelle...one of Jaijo's favourite chocolates.we decided to go for it but still weren't satisfied.Coz these two will disappear in a second.We needed to get something he can have with him always. As we both stood puzzled in the corridors of City Centre, came Faseela's phone call. When we told our situation she said she's got an idea (for her friend, thadiyan).
Thumb drive!!Though jaijo's a techie he hasn't got a thumb.yeah that can surprsie him.so we got one.Also we took a stylish 'card' for him.
Back in Venkat's house we had a great time packing the gifts.We put the thumb inside multiple packs and got the botlle and sweets pack covered neatly.We then put them all into a ugly lookin carton which would never look like a gift.
Yeah when he unwrapped them all it was great.the sequence was great..first the sweets then the "champagne" and in the end the special gift.We felt we celebrated it in the best possible way we could.it was superb.The whole class was involved.we got more than what we had expected.
Both the birthdays were full of fun and excitement,we had more fun than we thought we would have.it's so nice to see the happiness on the face of the person when you make their birthday memorable.
Thanku Monubhaiya.it was really a beautiful day.tell your friends my thanks.The card was so nice.I called mummy.I just told that u came and brought me a cake.she told that u didn't tell her anything.I hope it was from your pocket money.It was too much.But anyway u made me really happy.Thanku............
This was a sms i got later on the day of my sister's b'day.
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Written on 1/12/2008 11:17:00 am by Swift!
Njan karanjappozhellam nee ente kanneer oppi
Nee karanjittu njan arinjupolumilla.
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Had a turbulent week in college. Ups n downs.Perhaps v.08 is not feasible.Am I messing everything?Am I?I tried sincerely to change myself.That single comment made me realise I can't change.....
Not much to say though there is a lot.
Pray that I am not hurting anyone around me.
I'm foolish
I'm foolish
I'm foolish
My resolutions' status:
Selfish: I couldn't become... Which means still I have nothing.
Guitar: My guitar cracked... Wonder if I can play it again.
Cooking: Didn't even enter kitchen... Will try.
Studies: Studied for one day,maybe two... ???
Comments: Resolutions don't work beyond January 6th. May be I can't change.
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone.
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Written on 1/06/2008 08:00:00 am by Swift!
It’s a bit too late for my reflections on the past year, but I am doing it now coz I didn’t have net access and as I was very busy.
Its 2008. What did 2007 mean to me ? Nothing. On retrospection I feel actually there is nothing for me to cherish. Neither did I gain anything worthwhile nor did I lose anything. It was pretty ordinary. If at all there was anything I could say I achieved, it was my first job (back in march). And that was the only night perhaps this year that I was really happy. The day before, I was almost broken after yet another interview (I had miserably failed in a series of interviews by then) and suddenly everything changed. Maybe it is not a great achievement but it was the only day this year that I was happy from within.Yes the only day perhaps.
What else did I do? Maybe another achievement was being the Secretary of my Dept. It was something I did not want to be. Someone actually cheated me into becoming the Secretary and for a long while I kept myself aloof from any activities coz I was very angry. Back in school I had been School leader twice but here I never felt like doing anything. And I did not do anything unless I was forced to. The farewell given to our seniors was the first time in our dept. that the Association was giving a farewell to the outgoing batch. And I did not do anything other than routine work. Then came Onam celebrations, yet another ‘first’ in terms of the “change” in style. But still I hadn’t done anything! I was just forced to. My soul wasn’t in anything. Then came Mini Project exhibition, Freshers and some technical events. All were pretty decent…Yes that’s all. Just ok. Not anything more. I never enjoyed doing anything. Never had I wanted to be anything.
The only regret I have during my term is Dhyuthi. I did not work for it. I had my own justifications but what I did was not right.
Then came Christmas. Organising Christmas celebrations…Yet another combined event for perhaps the first time. Actually I was all alone for most of the time. I couldn’t even find my classmates. And to make it worse there were a lot of problems right from the start. But this time I started enjoying my work. I feel I worked really well. My calculations, estimations and intuitions for the event were perfect. Actually I was very much impressed with myself (and a bit proud!). On the day I was doing fine and everything went on fine and I was happy. Everyone was enjoying. The work was hectic as well and I got exhausted at the end of the day. And I made my first stage appearance (a brief one) in years! After joining engineering I had never been on stage, deliberately. I avoided every possibility and delegated the work to someone else, though I could do it, because I did not want to!
But at the end of the day everything was not happy. Towards the end I realized the hollowness within. Suddenly the no. of people who knew me had increased manifold coz of my activities but then something made me realize that the no. of people who understood me had shrunk at the same rate. The whole class was celebrating, but I did not go that way, I actually went to my room and almost cried. Happily enough no one missed me. When the program was over I came back. Just kept smiling. No one knew anything. Left Thrissur asap. Broken-hearted.
Now why am I saying all this? My term as the Secretary ended a couple of days back. And Christmas celebration was (I didn’t know then) the last event in my Secretaryship. Well everything’s over. No achievements, though it wasn’t bad all together either. It was the best thing that happened to me in this college. I became something which I never had thought/wanted to be. And it’s all over.
I also did my seminar during the same time. When the day arrived I was perfectly under-prepared. But once on stage I decided to face it. Only I knew my preparation level, but given that I had did very well, especially in terms of presentation (yeah the content was pathetic though I loved my topic).
So how’s 2008. A brand new Roshan. Someone asked me ‘ninakithu enthu patti’. How did you change? Have I changed? Actually I had changed when I lived in this college. But no one asked me then ‘what happened to you’?
My new year resolutions:
I will be selfish.
I will (re)start learning guitar (seriously).
I will learn cooking(Now I fell it’s great)
And as usual…I will be serious in my studies.
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